A blog to put all about me online. My good days. My bad days. My experiences. My shortcomings. My dreams. My desires. Just one little glitch: true or false. Let's see who gets deluded.
Yes, so I've been playing about ten hours a day, everyday, for the past two weeks.
Explains my brief disappearance here....
I think I need to take it easy for a bit or else I'm gonna burn out!
But other than that, it's been great so far, with my new responsibilities at work. I'm so tired, and yet when I get to my desk, I smile, looking forward to the challenges I'm going to overcome for the day. I'm so beat by the time I get back home, but I'm smiling too, because after a good rest at night, tomorrow's going to be yet another great day at work.
Of course I've made some mistakes, I'm still learning. And of course I've had my bouts of insecurity - am I good enough for this, can I handle this?
But that's normal, isn't it? No good days if there are no bad days!
So anyway, I've got some music to share.
30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens
Now this is what I call a music video.
Got Jason on Conan in my mail this morning, but we can't put up the vid so:
Jason Mraz - Live High
I miss Jason Mraz.
SHINee - Ring Ding Dong
And this has been in my head ever since I first heard it. Ignore the funny song title, it's really catchy. It's also got so many elements to it, and they work so well together, it feels like an endless song - I like. (I also like Junhyung and Minho.... Heh....)
This is one of those songs that sound better live, so go forth and compare:
Ok time for bed, goodnight!
Karen: Aw shucks, thank you! Yes, I remember the eyeliner lesson, I can put on eyeliner only because you taught me! :)
First the toner, then the serum. Moisturiser, sunblock, and makeup base. Foundation. Blusher. Lip balm.
It sounds simple, but I take half an hour to make my face up every day.
I’m a slow poke when it comes to applying makeup, which is one of the reasons why my makeup regime is so compact – no concealer, no eyeliner, no mascara, no eyeshadow, no brow liner, no highlights, no lip gloss.
But I am a slow poke also because I’m meticulous. In an effort to achieve a flawless finish, I ensure that my foundation is evenly spread across my face, and I am absolutely thorough, almost systematical going about that.
At the end of the half hour, you can hardly see my flaws – pimples, blackheads, whiteheads, scars, dark circles; all miraculously patched and covered up.
“I love how your skin glows and looks so smooth,” a friend once commented.
I told him that it is all fake, that my face is the work of clever application techniques and superior technology that goes into the making of my foundation.
That’s right, I’m insecure about my looks. I don’t think I look particularly dreadful, but I like how makeup is able to enhance some features of my face so that I look prettier.
But you know what? I’m comfortable enough with my looks to admit my insecurity about them – that I use makeup to mask my perceived flaws.
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Evolution
I like that public service commercial because it provides some perspective and balance to what we girls have to face everyday. (Check out Dove’s Campaign For Real Beauty.)
Advertisements, magazines, television shows, celebrities, constantly in our faces, telling us what’s hot and what’s not. There’s a certain ideal image being sold to the female consumer, persuading us that in order to become more successful, desirable and fashionable, women have to look a certain way.
And it’s not impossible to achieve that ideal image – there is a barrage of products in the market today that promise youth, radiance and beauty.
This obsession with beauty isn’t exactly a phenomenon of the 21st century, either. Women have been preoccupied with this ideal image for centuries. Women in ancient Egypt even risked lead and mercury poisoning in order to look pretty. Suffering for beauty indeed has ancient roots.
With such immense pressure to conform to such beauty standards, it is really no wonder that women today, myself included, feel insecure with the way we look.
This is not wrong. This is simply the result of the culture we have been imbibed with since centuries ago, and the massive consumption of media images that we are fed with everyday.
What’s important is that we must first admit our insecurity in order to overcome it.
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Here’s an insight into my makeup routine five years ago.
I took more than an hour to pretty up my face, just to go to school. There was the eyeshadow, the eyeliner, the mascara – for larger eyes. Then the lip gloss for an irresistible pout. Bronzer and face highlights, blusher for a rosy glow.
Without my face on, I found it near impossible to face the world.
This was the result of reading so many fashion and beauty magazines that proclaimed that beauty is in fact, so easy to achieve. You simply have to follow the step-by-step guides on how to apply makeup.
I wanted to look like the models in the magazines. I had to hide my flaws, for it would be preposterous to show the world my plain face, when looking like those models only took a one-hour makeup routine.
That was how insecure I was about my looks, five years ago.
However, as I grew older, the makeup came off. My routine has been stripped in half. You’d think that I grew less insecure over the years, but it turns out that I am still as insecure!
But what I’m insecure about now is far different from what I was insecure about then.
Instead of obsessing about hiding my flaws, I’m now concerned about how presentable I look. It is important for me to use makeup now to enhance my features and to look presentable, rather than to mask my insecurity about not being able to achieve the ideal female image.
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So, it’s not such a tragedy for women to be insecure about their looks, and neither is it taboo for women to use makeup to look more presentable.
I believe that what’s important is to first admit our insecurity and recognise that beauty comes in so many different forms. Realise that what we see on screen and in magazines is simply one representation of beauty.
Secondly, women have to understand that makeup is what it is – a tool to mask your perceived facial flaws. The result of putting on makeup is indeed a made-up face, which can look unreal when a girl puts on too much makeup.
Thirdly, women need to understand that looking presentable is important, and makeup can help towards that. The key to emerge confident is not to pile on the makeup, but to manage it so that your facial features are enhanced and you still look like yourself.
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Tyra Banks once noted on her show, America’s Next Top Model, about how beautiful one of her contestant’s lips look in one of her photos.
Tyra loved that the girl’s lips looked natural and alluring in the photo, and then proclaimed, “I want that lip gloss, girl!”
Even a beautiful top model like Tyra Banks understands that it is the makeup that is masking the girl’s lips to make it look pretty.
Let’s follow in her footsteps, ladies. Makeup may be a mask, but let’s also show that we accept beauty in all its different forms, and that we are in control of our insecurity.
I started the day just like any other day. Got to the office, started on my work, and then.... my sis called.
Snow was lost. She couldn't find Snow anywhere, and it's already been two hours.
I told her to calm down, search the estate, and keep me updated.
I was stuck at work, unable to concentrate. Thank goodness I've done the bulk of my work over the week, so I took urgent half-day leave.
My sis had given up searching by the time I could leave the office.
When I got home, my sis explained that Snow probably fell out the window and got stuck on the ledge on the second floor. There was no way we could get her unless we had a storey-high ladder to peek into the ledge and coerce her out.
My mom asked if we should call SPCA to see if they would help.
Then the idea popped into my head. Don't we see it all the time on TV? Policemen and firemen saving cats from trees?
So I called the police. They directed me to HDB. HDB sent someone down.
They checked the ledge and lo and behold, Snow scrambled out - wet, dirty and shivering.
She retreated to a corner along the corridor, blocked by some heavy furniture. We tried to persuade her out, but she was too terrified to come out.
I couldn't just wait there, so with the help of someone from my estate and my mom, we moved the furniture and finally pulled Snow out.
What a traumatizing afternoon.
It's 7.15 pm now, and I'm waiting for the groomer to pick her up so she can have a nice warm bath.
The original's actually in Mandarin - they formed the group to break into the Chinese market, hence their mini album's in Mandarin.
"Oh my, shooper ger, ni shi wo de baby ger"
Hilarious.
Oh and, side note. All it takes for someone to look good is to put some effort into grooming. Look at the Super Junior boys - they look so good in the vid cos they're all groomed and dressed so well.
Work has been so busy, but fulfilling. Am afraid I may burn out, but I'll try my best not to let that happen. Partying next weekend should help!
Kermit: Thank you. :) I saw your comment the night I put up the post, and I felt so much better. Thank you so much!
You wanna know why I've turned into a cold, unfeeling person? You wanna know why I don't care about people they way I used to? You wanna know why I'm so uptight and why I'd rather be alone? You wanna know why I don't trust anyone as easily anymore?
Because in the end, they all treat you like crap.
It don't matter how much you care, or how much you help them.
In the end, people just want to make use of you. In the end, they just want to sap your sympathy out of you. In the end, they don't even care two hoots about you after all has been said and done.
I was supposed to be doing some work, but I'm really tired, and I got carried away checking out some music online, so....
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
I'm not a huge fan of Lady Gaga - she's all up in people's faces trying to be different but I think she's very much a manufacture of pop culture commercialisation. I've only ever liked Just Dance, which I posted here before she became a hit with Poker Face. This new song, off her upcoming album, redeems her as an artist, though. Take a listen.
Kim Tae Woo - Love Rain
It's a huge song in Korea right now, but Kim Tae Woo's music has always been soulful, hit or no hit. If you like this one, check out his other song, Memory & Remembrance.
TTL (Time To Love) - T-ara & Supernova
Catchy one, this one. I love Korean music for its commitment to perfection. Every single song that the Koreans put out is produced so merticulously, it sounds just perfect (right down to the pitch and tempo) for radio airplay. Overproduction isn't a good thing when it comes to music in general, but in the case of Korean music, there's no such thing as an over-produced song, just a perfectly produced one.
I'll let the song's lyrics speak for this beautiful track.
Down in a local bar Out on the boulevard The sound of an old guitar is saving you
Don't turn away Dry your eyes, dry your eyes Don't be afraid Keep it all inside, all inside When you fall apart Dry your eyes, dry your eyes Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard
"I used to think guys appreciated girls who have something intelligent to say about soccer, gadgets, the stock market, politics.... until someone told me that I should just pretend to be interested in only shopping."
Sorry, I don't waste my time pretending, so does that mean I'm pretty much luckless with the boys?
I'm taking a short break before continuing with the last bit of my work.
Here's some food for thought:
Upon completion of Hello Hurricane, the band had concluded a season of independence and artistic freedom that hadn't been experienced since the band recorded The Beautiful Letdown independently. Once this season was concluded, the band began shopping around for partners to distribute the songs all across the globe, "looking for the best partner to give these songs a large platform that is respectful to the people that listen to our music." On August 7, 2009, Switchfoot announced that their independently-owned label, lowercase people records, would be partnering with Atlantic Records to distribute Hello Hurricane globally. EMI CMG will meanwhile retain the rights to release Switchfoot's material to the Christian market.
I stumbled upon this piece of information while doing some research (which reminds me, I have to get a move on for a certain project - yes, work is getting busier and more exciting).
Switchfoot will be releasing their upcoming album, Hello Hurricane, via an indie label, but will be distributing it under a major label. So that they can stay true to their music and yet allow their music to reach the maximum number of music lovers out there.
Kinda like my blog, hmmm? I'm not a blogger who posts (digitally enhanced) pictures of herself up and reports on her latest shopping spree. Neither do I detail every single day of my life here.
I prefer to ponder upon (some say) serious topics, that can put the yawn in the word "bore".
I've toyed with the idea of lightening my blog up, but naaaaah.
That's not me.
So really, what I'm saying is, it's so much easier to be myself than to pretend to be like the other a million and one bloggers out there right?
I wish I were....
More realistic.... Less practical....
More individualistic.... Less eccentric....
More passionate.... Less obsessive.....
More outgoing.... Less introverted....
Go figure.
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long-since-canceled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanished sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend
All losses are restored, and sorrows end.
